From your little girl xo
From your little girl xo
Next thing we had to decide was the menu, we each discussed items that we could contribute. We wrote ourselves a shopping list and a brief plan of when to bake what.
We had our high tea on a Sunday afternoon so we planned that we would do shopping on the Monday, start baking from Thursday. We wanted to allow ourselves plenty of time because we were going to try some experimental desserts and we knew that these would take time and may not work.
At this stage, we weren’t sure of how many people would be coming so we kept our menu fairly small and manageable. It was going to be at my friend’s house so we had plans to invite our friends and family members.
|Messy kitchen after we got home from shopping|
We registered with the organisation and we knew they would be sending us volunteer pack which includes posters and donation boxes. We were going to host the high tea at my friend’s backyard so we discussed decorations we could put outside, table arrangements and tea pots and cups (most important part of high tea!)
Because we were fundraising for breast cancer, we went with a pink theme. We planned to get flowers (something pink). We also had plans to print a formal menu and do description tags but unfortunately ran out of time to do this.
Decorations were done by a friend on Saturday but unfortunately it rained on the day so we were unable to use the outdoor space like we had planned to! 🙁
It’s prep time!
Some sneak peek shots of our baking 😉
We made a crazy load of mess (needless to say!), some things worked well and other things didn’t but this is where we truly made history through our kitchen mayhem! It was beautiful chaos, now that I think about it.
|Presenting the biggest batch of chocolate brownies I have ever made!|
|There is a lot going on here- multitasking at its best!|
|Baking after dinner on Saturday night- Sun-dried tomatoes, olive and polenta muffins|
Presenting some of our best shots and reflections on our experience. If you’d like to read about the background story/ beautiful chaos we had, see the other blog on planning 🙂
|Butter Cake with buttercream icing|
Sponge cake with whipped cream icing
Mini coffee cupcakes with caramel icing
|Red velvet cupcakes|
Semolina cake with cinnamon and lemon syrup
Sweet potato and almond brownies
|Jelly shots and cream biscuits|
Sun-dried tomatoes, olives and polenta muffins
To my dearest best daddy in the world,
Firstly, I hope you like the card and the other presents. I thought I’d get you this superdad tatty bear because you have been like a ‘superhero’ in my life. You may not know how to fly like a superhero but you were still able to save me whenever I’ve had a crisis in my life. You have taken on the role of both parents a lot of the times and we know how challenging that was, and I sometimes I made it even harder being ever so difficult (yes, I’m saying this today with much regret). I wish I could understand what you were going through and been less of a wild child, but now I do.
I can’t begin to tell you how special you are to me. I know I don’t get to tell you this because both of us are so caught up in our lives. We are both so busy and I tend to be grumpy most of the time, I don’t get to express what I feel for you. I definitely don’t appreciate you enough and I really should be doing more to tell you how much you mean to me.
Thank you for being the guiding light in my life. I may like to call myself an adult to the world (because I’m 22), but secretly I know, without you, I wouldn’t have survived a single day! It’s only because of you I’m able to maintain my sanity. If it weren’t for you, I would have sunk in darkness long ago. You’re always there for me every time I need you and your support means everything to me because without it, I would not function.
One of the things children tend to do is they simply take their parents for granted. I definitely do take you for granted most of the time. I’ll be honest with you, it took me a very long time to realise I was doing this as well. It was only in the last year or two I realised I need to be more aware of my actions of what I’m doing because I don’t want to hurt you ever (I blame the teenage years for keeping me in the state of mind fogginess :P)
Anyway, now that I’m armed with this relatively new realisation and post-teenage wiseness, I hope I can show you just how much you mean to me, not just on Father’s Day but every single day.
Finally, I wish you have a wonderful Sunday!
Love you always and forever
From your little girl xo
Today, I had the privilege to attend a talk at my work where a lady spoke about the loss of her newborn baby.
She was absolutely amazing, I’m not one that usually gets emotional hearing other people talk about their losses but I did get teary in this one towards the end. It only took me a few seconds to work out why, it was because it triggered something else. But first, I want to share the lady’s story before I tell you mine.
The lady spoke about her baby who died two days after he was born because of hypoxic ischemic encephalopathy. This basically means, for some reason her baby had stopped receiving oxygen a week prior to her labour. He was in NICU after he was born but he had never opened his eyes, he had no brain function.
She spoke about all these memories she made with her baby while he was alive. She had a lot of photos the medical staff had taken for her. She introduced her baby to her family at the hospital when they met her for the first time and also said goodbye.
However, she does have many regrets, she says there are so many things she wishes she could have done with her baby but you just don’t think of it at the time because of the horrific process you’re going through. She suggested many things including getting hand or footprints of the baby, taking the baby outside for a walk or doing professional photography with the baby (I learnt there are organisations that do photography of stillborn or sick newborn babies, will share the link with you later). You may be thinking what are these are ridiculous ideas?
I’ll be honest with you. If you had told me about these ideas without the background story. I would’ve said- that’s just crazy! I mean, why on Earth would you wanna do these things with someone who isn’t going to make it? I mean the most you could probably do is take a photo with a normal camera but why would you wanna do professional photography? Professional photography is supposed to be only for happy tales only and doing it in this context is just depressing!
But hearing today’s story changed my perception completely! I had said earlier that triggered something in me and that’s why I’m writing this so I can process my experience in a healthy way. It took me back to the past and got me thinking about my mum who lost her first baby. As a kid, I never paid much importance to it because I thought, she only lived for a few days so it’s not like you could have much memory of her. Now thinking of it today, I can’t believe I had been so ignorant all this time!
It’s only today I realise, a loss is a loss – it doesn’t matter at which point you lose it or how long you’ve had it for. I never talked to my mum about the personal grief she experienced after my sister died. When I first heard about it as a kid, I thought it’s alright, she must be over it now because she has me now.
But what I realise today is that you can never be over it. Your life will never be the same after that loss.
We almost never talk about it because it’s been an awkward topic to address before today. All I know about her is that she was born in 10th November 1988; she was born premature, so that was why she didn’t live. To be honest, I don’t know if we have anything in common, other than the fact that we were both whisked away to ICU straight after we were born. It’s actually quite strange because I was more premature than her but I’m still here writing today 😛
I guess it was just luck and partly technology. They must have had better incubators by the time I was born.
I never asked my mum what she did with my sister or how she got to say goodbye. Prior to hearing this talk today, I thought there wasn’t much you could do other than hope and pray. I don’t know how she cherished the moment. I don’t even know if there’s a photo of her but I don’t imagine there would be because cameras weren’t as common in those days.
I can’t begin to comprehend what my mum must have gone through during this time. She’s one amazing obstetrician but I know even the strongest people would break down at times like these. I have heard from other people that she had gone through periods of darkness. I kind of wish I could’ve been a part of it but she was born before me, unfortunately. All this time, I thought there isn’t anything I can possibly do because it was before my time; but I realise today, there is one thing I can do.
I can still acknowledge her- that’s the reason I write this today. I realise that I’ve rarely used the term sister in the past and usually refer to her as my mum’s first child. I don’t even know why I did this, it wasn’t intentional but it’s only today I realise the importance of addressing her correctly. She is my sister whether she lives today or doesn’t. She may not be here with us today but we do have the ability to keep her alive through us.
Finally to finish off, my mum has come through her personal grief with scars of experience. I hope the pain has somehow diminished after all these years but I know it’ll always be a part of her. She will always hold a special place for her and I hope she’s watching us from above.
As you can tell from the title, I like to partake in shenanigans so thought I’d make a blog and document it.
I actually thought about doing this for ages. But I wasn’t sure how and when do I begin? Or if I should write even?
My ‘big’ plan was to launch this blog in January this year but it got delayed by quite a bit as you can see we are in June and I’m still writing my intro here!
I did make an account earlier though, but I never got around to writing because I was busy with training placement and it took so much out of my time, it didn’t really leave time for anything else. (For anyone that’s not familiar with what being in placement involves- it’s basically like full time work but you don’t get paid anything. You may be armed with a whole lot of experience but it leaves you exhausted and broke) 🙁
Now getting to the proper intro – I’m a 22 year old student dietitian living in Sydney. I’ve always wanted to blog but never got around to doing it for some reason (well, mainly procrastinating). I wanted to write but I wasn’t sure if anyone would want to read about the dull life I lead? 😛
In short, I guess I was lazy, time poor and didn’t have the guts to do this.
Then I thought, why not give it a go and see what it’s like? I’m not getting any younger so I might as well do it now while I’m young
Because like they say YOLO haha
Anyway now that we’re over the awkward intro, let’s move on to other things, shall we? 😉
So what will I be writing about?
Mainly food, I am passionate about food as any other dietitian would be 😉
But I also hope to be writing about other things- travel, new places, events, photography and who knows what else 😛
Stay tuned for more 😉 xo